i'm afraid. it hurts. and with every breath i take, it hurts even more. and i am so afriad. nothing seems to work out the good way for me at the moment. i just need to get back to school. i don't think a long time away from school is good for me. not right now anyway. but then again, going back might not be as good as i hope? nick isn't going to be there. neither is jake. jeppe is not interested in me anymore. i don't have anything to look forward to. other than fall, but that's not going to last forever is it? no, it isn't. it's not fair. loosing someone i care about is not something i'm good at. hell, no one is good at that. what am i going to do? i have no idea...

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