i found out my biggest wish today..
- i want to be a good mother for my kids, and to able to give them what they need to be the best that they can be in life.

<3

it's funny how little things can make you feel all better,

and it's funny how only the right people can make you smile when you have a bad day..

i feel so lonely without you ...

kan det virkelig passe at jeg skal gå og have det af HELVEDE til hver eneste gang der er den mindste ubalance i kosmos!? - det synes jeg virkelig ikke er iorden, og det værste er at jeg ikke engang ved hvem jeg skal skælde ud!

suk ... - jeg ved godt at jeg brød et løfte, men det var jo kun fordi jeg vidste at du ville blive sur hvis jeg sagde det.. kan du ikke forstå det? jeg vidste at det ville blive sådan her, og jeg ville bare så gerne udskyde det og forblive venner lidt længere. er det så forkert at ville beholde dig i mit liv? du ved jo slet ikke hvordan jeg virkelig har det med dig. du tror ikke at "sådan en som mig" ville kunne være interesseret i "sådan en som dig". men hvordan kan du være i tvivl? tror du selv jeg ville kysse dig så meget som jeg gjorde hvis jeg ikke var!? - IDIOT!

sandheden er, jeg holder mere af dig end jeg burde. og et eller andet sted burde det jeg føler være nok, men det er det bare ikke.. der er noget der holder mig tilbage og jeg kan ikke fortælle dig hvorfor eller hvad.. jeg ved ikke hvor længer jeg bliver i mit nuværende forhold, men jeg ville virkelig ønske at du ville blive lidt længere?

jeg elsker dig ...

i'm afraid. it hurts. and with every breath i take, it hurts even more. and i am so afriad. nothing seems to work out the good way for me at the moment. i just need to get back to school. i don't think a long time away from school is good for me. not right now anyway. but then again, going back might not be as good as i hope? nick isn't going to be there. neither is jake. jeppe is not interested in me anymore. i don't have anything to look forward to. other than fall, but that's not going to last forever is it? no, it isn't. it's not fair. loosing someone i care about is not something i'm good at. hell, no one is good at that. what am i going to do? i have no idea...

day of birth

jeg har fødsesldag idag

So he is leaving, my big giant. I am going to miss him so much. He is someone I really can’t imagine my life without, and now, he is leaving. He always lifts me up and carries me around and he makes me laugh. He sat beside me in the plane when I flew for the first time. He was with me when I had the greatest experience of m life. He gave me all these amazing memories that I am never going to forget. I love him, and the thought of him, not being there, sitting next to me every day, making me smile is saddening me. I think that it is so unfair! I really don't think that stunt was necessary. they could just have told him, that he would be kicked out if he didn't start to take this seriously. how am I going to go through last year of high school when he is not wiht me? I don't know.

"and you'r singing the song, thinking this is the life, and you wake up in the morning and you'r head feels twice the size, where you gonna go, where you gonna go, where you gonna sleep tonight?"

- you rock my world C!

He is tall, and slim, and has dark blond hair. He has dark brown eyes, deep as the deepest ocean, and when he smiles i can't do anything but smile too. I have come to need him like the air i breath. And i have come to love him like a friend i'v always had. I know that i am important to him, but i don't know, if he knows how important he is to me. He is much more like me than i had ever thougt possible. He loves to read, he watches discovery and national geographic. He likes the shows about mega constructions and cars, and we almost have the same taste in music.
He is smart, and he knows things that are interesting to know. He knows when it's time to grow up, and does what has to be done, to get there. He takes resposibility for his actions, and is not afraid to admit that he cries. He is the most adorable boy i know, and i am so greatful that i am his friend, and he is mine. I don't know what i have done to deserve him, but thank you.

A dream is a wish your heart makes...

How am I supposed to live a normal life when I dream away all the time? - If I wasn't such a dreamer I would have it easier. I think. I mean, everyone daydream once and a while, but I just can't stop if I get started. And it's hurting me every time I come back to reality.

I think that's why I love to read so much. I can dream away while I'm reading, and then when I stop reading, it won't be so bad. That sometimes helps. I wish that I could be different sometimes. Just so that it would be a little easier to live.

The sun is so red mom, and the forest is so black.
Now the sun is dead mom, and the day has past away.
The fox goes around out there; we’re locking up the hall.
Come sit by my pillow mom, and sing me a little song.

Why does the night come, with cold and bitter wind?
Hear the little cat mom, it miaus and wants to come in.
The seagull and tern has nowhere to live.
Come hear, now sing the stars a lullaby for me.

The sky is so big mom, with stars shining bright.
Who do think lives, mom, on the star that shines tonight?
Do you thing that there are boys, mom, who looks down on me?
And do you think that they have beds, mom, and sleeps just like me?

Happy place

"Er jeg den eneste der kan høre en sang, se et billede eller dufte en duft, som så bringer dig tilbage til et sted du ikke vidste du savnede? Der er ikke er noget stress, ingen problemer, der er ikke noget at være bange for, der er ikke koldt, der er ikke noget der gør ondt, du bliver ikke sulten, du er bare sammen med alle dem du holder af .. du kan slet ikke lade være med at grine... jeg kunne bliver der for evigt - i mit happy place .."

so on and on it goes

from the debts it flows,

in terrifying place, and i have a reason to say, a sentence to my grave,

would you stand in my defence, and breath inside me now,

come and stake your claim,

cus' i can barely breath,

would you justify in me, would you justify in me

i'm down today, i'm down today

set to my bow, hear me now,

and hear me now, and hear me now

and it goes on and on and on,

echoes, echoes

would you stand up and fight for me,

would you stand and break the walls between us, breath inside me now

come and stake your claim

If everyone cared and nobody cried,

If everyone loved and nobody lied,

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride,

Then we'd see the day when nobody died...